And a Little Child Shall Lead Them...

A week ago today, I took Philip in to see a pediatric orthopedist.  His limp that we have watched come and go since his "jump" in May was beginning to worry us.  After x-rays and an evaluation, the doctor relayed the news.  Philip is suffering from Legg-Calve Perthes disease.  I won't go in to the specifics of the disease because I know you just took a break from reading to Google it.  It's okay...everyone does...just stick to the medical websites and you'll be fine!

by the way...he got braces yesterday...did I mention he's tough?

There are no words for the fear, anxiety, and hurt you feel when your child is diagnosed with something tough.  It consumes your every thought.  How will he be today?  What about tomorrow?  A birthday party invitation comes in the mail...will we be able to go?  How will he be feeling?  How much activity is enough? How much is too much?  What about school?  Can he manage the stairs?  Will he be teased?

The trick is you can't let him see that it consumes your every thought because it isn't consuming his thoughts.  He's blissfully ignorant...except for the pain...and you want to keep him in that place.  So you try so hard not to open your mouth.  Not to ask, "are you ok?"..."do you need to take a break?"..."does it hurt?"

And then you watch them suffer from pain and you hurt.  You hurt but you can't show it.  You can't show it because he doesn't show it.  Nobody but a mother or father can see that look of discomfort in his eyes.  Someone once said that having children is like having your heart walking around outside of your body.  And seeing him hurt hurts your heart.

And then there are those other children you have.  You watch them shine.  Daniel lets Philip wrap his arm around his shoulder and allows his big brother to limp along next to him.  He fixes him something to drink.  Carries Legos to his bed so they can build while Philip rests.  He shines and makes us so proud.  But it is tough on them too.  We haven't left the house much this week...haven't played outside as much as usual.  They need for school to start...a return to normalcy.

Philip is so strong...so tough.  He hasn't complained yet.  Hasn't asked "why me?"  Only once has he cried...and I use that term lightly.  Sitting at the counter, I caught one tear coming down his cheek.  I wrapped him in a hug and asked if he was okay.  He simply said, "I just want to ride my bike."  "Let's try it," I said.  Carried that sweet boy outside, helped him get on his bike, and he rode without pain.  A beautiful moment.

And a little child shall lead them.  Philip is showing all of us how to deal with pain and tough diagnoses.  A true hero.

We'll get through this time.  Chris and I are getting him the best possible medical care, but we are well aware of who the True Healer is.  I ask you, my friends, to join us in prayer for Philip's complete healing.

"O Lord, my God.  I called to you for help and you healed me."

-Psalm 30:2