A Diagnosis

I have hesitated to write this post for several days.  As I often say, I blog to preserve memories...keeping family and friends informed is really just an added benefit.  So while, I have hesitations about sharing all of this, I know it is important for me to remember these days and my feelings as part of our family history.

When John was first examined by a pediatrician (one in my group, but not mine), the doctor heard a click in his hips.  He called for an ultrasound and the radiologist reported that there was a slight hip displacement.  Dr. Cepeda told me to double diaper him (it helps keep the legs in a frog-like position) until I could get an appointment with the pediatric orthopedist.  I was assured that it was slight and that once fixed, John would not have any complications later in life.

Of course, I got teary.  No one wants to hear that something is not quite right with their newborn.  That being said, I reminded myself that parents deal with far worse diagnoses and I should be grateful for his overall good health.

Well, turns out the orthopedist happens to be out of the country for a month!!!  My pediatrician felt like we should not waste time, so she called for a pelvic harness for John.  Here's where I got really teary.  My thoughts were for him...will he be uncomfortable, will he still nurse okay...will he be able to sleep comfortably...etc.  My thoughts were also for myself...with three other little boys, will I have time to deal with this...will I still be able to cuddle my last newborn...will people look at us funny...etc.

We came home from the hospital and I savored the days before our harness fitting.  I did not Google hip dysplasia once.  I did not look online to see what this so called harness looked like.  I tried not to be anxious...just enjoy the little guy.

On Tuesday, I went to have John fitted for his pelvic harness.  I cried when they showed it to me...I cried when they put it on him...I cried when I got home.  It was certainly a day of tears, a day of anxiety, a day of fear.

Now with a few days under our belt, I am completely comfortable with his harness.  I don't like it...wish we didn't have to do it, but it is definitely something that I can handle.  It is an extra step when changing his diaper or changing his clothes.  Other than that, it does not affect his nursing...does not affect his sleep (other than it is difficult to swaddle him, so I am constantly rewrapping him)...definitely doesn't affect my ability to cuddle him.

Here's a picture of him in his harness, in case you're curious.

But that is where my hesitations begin...when you are home thinking of baby John, I hope you'll think of him like this...

not him in his harness!  He's going to be fine...we are going to be fine...and I certainly don't want to dwell on a little bump in the road.  My hope is that the orthopedist will free us from the harness quickly.  My prayer is that John will be healed and this will be a distant memory soon!